just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
