Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
