Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
