I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
