I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
