I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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