Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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