It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
