And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's get the cat blown out
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
