dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
