Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize