WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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