So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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