there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
