I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
