Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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