So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
