So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
