the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize