bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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