I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize