Banned from zoo.
Again?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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