Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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