I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize