She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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