i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
