I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
