Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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