quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
