I am puke
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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