I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
