yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
