Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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