1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
