i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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