Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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