none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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