My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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