Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
