youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
