wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
