He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
