the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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