it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
