Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
