he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
