i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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