so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
