Where is the hickey?
Say something about gay babies.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
