just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
