8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
