You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
