Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
