So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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