His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
