is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
