she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
