I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize