if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
