Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize