But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
