Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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