Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
