I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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