Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
