I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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