Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
