He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
