Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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