Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
