Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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