dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize